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NSFW Sunday Will Seduce You With Your Really Awkward Lesbian Intercourse Stories! | Autostraddle

Thanks for visiting Awkward Lesbian Intercourse Story-Fest 2012!

In the event you’ve disregarded:

Have you ever seen just how every time anybody brings up one thing gross about lesbian sex, we usually backlink to
the fingernails article
? That’s because the world-wide-web severely lacks the lesbian/bisexual/queer-girl-person intercourse same in principle as Cosmopolitan’s Intercourse Stories or Sassy’s

Mortifying Moments.

It is likely you have actually an uncomfortable sex tale you intend to give the world wide web. For gifts! Your own tale tends to be small or lengthy (50 to 4500 terms sounds pertaining to correct) and can be cringe-worthy or hilarious.

The champion will receive the Pop your own Top system from
Good Oscillations
(a form of this kit was previously
reviewed by NSFW Sunday
), which include:

+ Hitachi Magic Wand

+ Fuchsia Pop Top Deluxe Silicone accessory

+ 2 oz. container of Please Fluid Lube

+ And internet reputation!

Vote for your favorite from now until Friday
! The champion will be launched next week. And from now on: it’s the perfect time. Below, the essential uncomfortable, mortifying, embarrassing, or entertaining lesbian intercourse stories posted by you.


1. Lesbian Auto-Sex

My personal recent girl and that I happened to be on the way back from cinema one night, and because I becamen’t sleeping over we made a decision to pull over into an area to create «use» of my car. Long story short, we had great intercourse and decided to keep, we visited change the auto around, also it was actually completely stuck into the dirt. We experimented with everything to have it on, including the woman trying to press it creating the woman falling dull on her behalf face inside the mud. Overall I got to call my father (exactly who failed to discover gayness or said girlfriend) at 1:30 a.m., explain we were trapped in a field, precisely why on earth we’d also held it’s place in the field at all, and get him in the future tow us away.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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2. Perhaps not Sex throughout the Beach

You understand how they say that «intercourse on the beach» is really sexy and exciting as well as have a cocktail known as after it? Really that’s BULLSHIT. Although the person who «they» are likely designed like, a cozy bright beach with blankets and perhaps a chaise, and not a cold, windy night on New york seashore which, if you’ren’t from the Los Angeles region, is a lot like the rectum of coastlines … in a negative means. Anyways, I’m going down on this woman i am online dating, although wind helps to keep blowing mud in my own face/in the girl vagina, and I’m coughing and it’s really essentially humiliating. So ended up being terrible. But exactly how carry out I receive myself? We go back to the woman location, where we proceed to get therefore stoned that we actually COULD NOT FIND HER VAGINA. Cannot find it. We passed completely somewhere around the woman ankles. The worst component is, bc the lesbo neighborhood in LA is really small, I see their all the time. As an old YM concern might say, OMG MORTIFYING.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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3. Fucking and also the Police

The summer before school, I’d my basic girlfriend, as soon as I discovered the miracles of gay sexytimes I was clearly preoccupied, to the stage of being happy to do so very nearly anyplace. Show A: one-night after a dinner away, we made a decision to park my vehicle behind a closed-for-the-summer basic college and get at it. A girl’s gotta perform just what a lady’s gotta would, amirite??

So things are heading great until we come across headlights behind you and we understand IT IS THE COPS. We have clothed as quick as humanly feasible and after a couple of frantic seconds of, «YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE THE BUTCH ONE,» «zero YOU ARE,» we opt to get equivalent obligation and we both get free from the automobile. The policeman is a significant old guy and clearly amazed observe two ladies emerge from the vehicle. He is all, «What are you girls undertaking right back here?» and I also you should not even imagine intercourse occurred to him as a possibility, despite the fact that we had been sweaty, disheveled, the automobile was actually passionate, etc. HETEROSEXISM AT the BEST! So we’re like, «Oh, uh, going out, sorry.» He eyes us suspiciously and says, «Well, I’ve reached take your details.» My woman is freaking completely about her moms and dads getting wind of something, but he assures united states it is simply routine procedure. So he hands us a notepad features united states take note of all of our brands (the reason why the guy didn’t just request the permits, I have no idea). The guy shines their torch therefore we can easily see the notepad and then we observe … my personal sweetheart’s hand is included in blood. I assume I would become my personal duration during intercourse and hadn’t noticed. So IMMEDIATELY the policeman is similar to, «WAIT, YOU’RE BLEEDING. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?» And my sweetheart views and freaks and comprises some insane story about having cut herself throughout the pocket knife on the keychain. The cop insists on looking around the automobile (for bodies?) and, locating nothing, ultimately finally finally lets us go. Yet not before my girlfriend provides accidentally received my personal period blood throughout his notepad.

We vowed to never have sexual intercourse behind a school once more (yet not never ever in a car, cuz which is merely too-good), after that chuckled for like half a year right. For many years afterwards we’d joke regarding time we had gotten caught ‘»red-handed.»

via reno 911


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4. Damp T-Shirt Contest

My home is an university dorm, as does my today ex-girlfriend. One-night we had been inside her place, having a smashing good time testing the strap-on she’d merely purchased from Edens Fantasies. Equally situations had been planning to truly «explode,» the flame security went off. My personal gf had been trying to get the band on off, nevertheless the straps had been twisted, citizens were yelling within the hall way, all of our RA ended up being knocking from the doorway, I was naked and that I couldn’t find my personal bra, I didn’t have boots, she had been twisted inside the really funnel… She wound up simply pulling the toy out from the funnel, organizing some sweatpants on over it, and in addition we went outside, neither people in footwear, me personally just dressed in a t-shirt and a pair of her short pants… and it is raining. My t-shirt is actually white. I don’t have a bra. Of course, it was an uncomfortable night.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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5. The 69’ers

My gf and I were wanting to 69 the very first time. We believed it might be gorgeous to use new things during intercourse. I happened to be toward the base and she was at the top. Okay, very imagine my face-on her pussy and well others is perfectly up to your creativity. Really I was style of unpleasant since I did not have a lot mind help. And so I chose to raise my personal mind quite so I could put some cushions under there or something like that. Really… as I ended up being attempting to move my mind somewhat she must have noticed anything had been going on and a little forced down. Well, not this type of a good idea because the woman entire vagina/bottom one half went right up into my face. Yea, we laughed for a whole few minutes afterwards.

Jiz Lee and Stoya via Fleshbot


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6. Oops!

Once in highschool I became fingerbanging this really hot lady at the woman residence and she squirted. She really was amazed, and that I maybe had been as well, but she began crying! And I ended up being younger and extremely odd, and I however don’t know exactly why but I began chuckling, hard. Of which point she slapped me personally (entirely deserved it), visited the restroom returned and gathered my clothing (strolling papers). So that was good enough but, I am not saying even joking while I declare that each day this particular story haunts me personally i need to air-five Dan Savage since it so gets better: when I am making I see her mama and I have immediately anxious but serve lovely and innocent because I happened to be an overall total charmer: «Bye, many thanks for having me,» also such bullshit. When I change away from their, she got me from the shoulder and said, «right actually ever drilling touch my girl again, dyke.» If only I’d mentioned, and on occasion even simply believed some thing smart and bitchy but i simply mentioned, «sorry sorry» performed this uncomfortable bowing motion immediately after which i-cried regarding the drive residence.

We probably destroyed that family members though so it’s cool.

via lesfemmes.tumblr.com


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7. Ice Cubes

Single I found myself having sexy time with my girlfriend whenever – experience specially switched on and experimental – I interupted the gender saying, «i’ll go get ice cubes, i will be right back.» As I was moving away from the bed my personal sweetheart pointed to a wet place where I had been, stating, «Take a look everything left!» and giggling. Laughing, then i pointed in which she have been and stated, «appear what YOU remaining!» Strike one. Regarding bed where my personal girlfriend had been was a little small move of poop. She right away burst into tears. I became amazed. Our very own beautiful time had taken a sudden change when it comes to worse. As my girlfriend’s sobs expanded more powerful i came across it more and more difficult to supress my personal laughter until eventually it burst regarding throat. Strike two. During that my personal girlfriend – nonetheless sobbing – stood up and started frantically stripping the sheets through the bed. She easily paced across room getting new sheets on, blubbering about how gross she thought and exactly how embarrassed she was. We helplessly saw and tried to put in terms of support informing her i did not believe it absolutely was that gross. «It’s not a big deal, you just didn’t clean very well!» hit three. She collapsed into the flooring at the conclusion of the bed, pulled the large comforter up around the woman system, sobbed, and ate a complete field of snacks for the following twenty minutes. Ultimately, she calmed down, and from now on we laugh about any of it. Nevertheless, it had been one of many funniest and yet many horrifying encounters of my personal sex-life.

via sapphoria.tumblr.com


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8. Stuck Fisting

Very, my gf and that I had been seeing some pornography on Cyber Dyke one night and had gotten really in it, therefore we turned it off commit play. I happened to be fingerblasting her and each and every time i possibly could think she was close to climax, I backed-off to try and prolong situations. This proceeded for 30 minutes. At long last had enough and wanted their in order to complete, and so I worked up to fisting the lady, which was something reasonably brand new both for folks during the time. Whenever she eventually arrived, it had been actually forceful, it actually hurt my hand. We slowly visited get my personal give out and well, she didn’t need to let it go, my lol com. We were trapped. I was entirely panicked, I didn’t consider I found myself ever going receive my personal give out. Neither one of you understood what you should do, very she begrudgingly also known as her sibling and dished the problem to the lady. We heard uproarious laughter through the other end of phone for like 5 minutes, even while my hand continues to be caught. Finally, the woman jackass sister made a decision to end up being wonderful and carry out a tiny bit Googling on the subject to simply help you and that I finally worked my personal fist free. We never ever lived that down however, the woman brother nevertheless teases me personally about this pretty much continuously.

via suicidegirls


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9. Rainbow Gathering

When my gf (of 6+ many years) and that I got together, I was young and unskilled. Extremely inexperienced. We were residing a home that would be viewed as a kind of interior Rainbow Gathering with seven additional roommates, immediately across from a number of frat residences,and really close to the campus of a large public university. No one secured leading home because everyone was also stoned to consider where their important factors were. My personal girl and that I had recently bought the very first strap-on. While I use it regarding first-time, after about an hour or so of band adjusting and dildo position, my personal girl burst into anxious laughter. Witnessing a dildo suddenly sprout from my personal big-tits, big-ass, buzzcut home probably looked quite absurd. 10 minutes later she had become across the silliness from it all to offer me personally a blowjob. Then your doorway unwrapped. A burly hunting, demonstrably intoxicated frat dude wandered in, stared at all of us for an extra, then said, «Ohhhhhh. Sorry, I imagined this was my buddy’s space,» in a tone that conveyed both a sense of shock and exhilaration, like he’d just acquired the lotto or something like that. Then the guy stood here, gazing. My girl, coping with the shock 1st, told him to have the fuck away. He switched and walked away, maybe not to the door. My personal girlfriend, having turned in to 6 feet of pure femme rage from this time, got up-and chased him the bang out of our home, naked. I happened to be left when you look at the room, determining whether to disturb the sensitive stability of bands that presented the vibrator in position or even to throw my tiger striped robe (given to me personally as a present from my granny) over the entire ordeal and pray it don’t drop open. We decided on aforementioned, and timidly made my way to avoid it to participate from inside the inebriated frat man herding.

via femmethings.tumblr.com


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10. Shower World

My personal sweetheart and I also had only done setting it up on subtly in shower from the dressing room inside theater at my university. She sweetly kissed myself regarding check and was available in for a hug. Instinctively I right away bro-patted this lady from the straight back with two taps right after which thought right away «what the bang ended up being that?… I really hope she does not notice/say everything.» I held in for an additional next to compensate your possibly-strange bro pat. But once we pulled aside, she looked over me personally, bursts into fun and mentioned, «Did you only pat me personally on the back…?» I looked down in complete embarrassment. «was actually that supposed to mean

good task old bean

or something like that?» I happened to be super petrified from the whole experience at the time the good news is each time we a really great rousing rounded of intercourse somebody becomes patted regarding the back.

via elles.tumblr.com

Vote to suit your favourite story
here
! Winners will be established in the future.

Most stuff took place in lesbian sex this week!

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The Rumpus assessed

The need of Select Behaviours

, an assortment by Shannon Cain that provides several point of views on sex and identification:


«Clear sexual descriptions fuel quite a few of Cain’s best passages, as really does her refreshingly agnostic and all-embracing perspective on sexual desire and identity. In «This Is How It begins,» the protagonist Jane starts the storyline with a «boy» and a «girl» she likes just as: «your ex is actually fond of the woman strap-on. The kid is actually attracted to cunnilingus. This will be gratifying to Jane. Plus, Jane can say this into woman: ‘It could well be great if the cock had been bigger.’ Jane will never get this to statement to your kid, though it might a little true.» Jane ultimately ends up with neither the child nor the lady, nevertheless the story never ever signifies that she should or could reach an identity-limiting epiphany, and as an alternative finishes with yet another many bittersweet paradox that i will not reveal.»

via fuckyeahdykes.tumblr.com

+ Some people have now been wondering whether intercourse addiction is genuine or perhaps is made up by those who just have actually some intercourse.
In accordance with
the

Vancouver Sunlight

, feminine sex dependency is actually growing, even though the instances the content utilizes are flawed (pornography, s&m, and having matters are cited as research that «this thing is morphing right in front people»). But weird statements apart, this article raises several interesting factors.
Per

Jezebel:


«That uncontrollable intimate conduct is a painful disorder is obvious, exactly what’s not yet determined is really what, precisely, comprises the essential difference between intercourse addiction and the usual uncontrollable behavior, or if perhaps intercourse addiction also exists, at the least in vision of some psychological state experts. One critic of sexual dependency alerts that conflating intimate obsession with sex addiction really does «real» addicts a disservice. Put differently, there is a big difference between being an alcoholic and liking porno a little too much. For instance, he offers samples of other activities which men and women take part compulsively— like physical exercise, stamp gathering, and songs fandom. Not one person’s «addicted» to Radiohead. No less than, Really don’t think-so.»

via shelikesher.tumblr.com

+ Having a «weird» name can affect your online matchmaking choices.
According to
research of 47,000 consumers of a German online dating site, individuals will «rather unappealing» first names received less profile hits as opposed to those with «somewhat attractive» brands:


Very first labels tend to be connected to stereotypes. As soon as we become acquainted with people, the look of them plays a task, but very does exactly what this person is called. That is often the very first information we have. This impression provides a strong effect on how exactly we process extra information about any of it individual. If someone has a dubious name, we frequently immediately associate him with a dubious stereotype. And then we proceed to assess all more info based on this dubiousness.


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Whether flirting is a reasonable tool for reporters has now been the main topic of discussion for the UK, as a parliamentary document accredited after the phone-hacking scandal
states it is not
:


«in proceeding «ten techniques utilized by some inside media – beware,» it states: «Flirting. Frequently interlinked with liquor. Built to allow you to fall the defences and state far more than you supposed. Be careful.»

via pinktacolovers.tumblr.com


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